


Flashes of a Bigger Picture

by red_thread



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-10
Updated: 2015-04-17
Packaged: 2018-03-17 05:45:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 3,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3517640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/red_thread/pseuds/red_thread
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s only been two days since her plane had touched down on american soil, abandoning the words she’d spent countless days fumbling over as Lindsey and Laure laughed at her expense.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prolouge

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fic comprised of drabbles.

It’s ironic how rushed things have been.

For the past six years, everything has been about savoring; savoring the first _bonjour_ , the first picnic in the Champs de Mars under the shadow of the Eiffel Tower, the first _au revoir_.

It’s only been two days since her plane had touched down on american soil, abandoning the words she’d spent countless days fumbling over as Lindsey and Laure laughed at her expense.

Now, she’s fumbling over her words once again, struggling to keep her eyes open as Kelley tells her stories of her new job at the local community hospital.

“You should swing by for lunch sometime,” She says with a sip of her coffee, “since I don’t know when you’re going to drop off the face of the earth again.”

She feels the corner of her lips tug into a small smile, fully aware of the truth laced into every word. Still, she lets herself smile knowing France was worth everything she lost.

“What time?”

Kelley looks like she’s about to answer, when a brief moment of _something_ flashes across her face and instead, she looks down and smiles into her vanilla latte. For a moment she wonders if the drink is as warm and sweet. She watches as the freckled girl lets go of her last sip and gets up from the table.

“My shift ends at 11:45, emergency room, first floor.” she nods at Kelley. Moving to get up, shes stopped by the freckled girl. “Oh and Tobin?” The brown eyed girl looks up from her seat, “Don’t you dare leave without saying goodbye again.”

  
With that she’s out the door; no goodbye hug or formal parting, nothing. Tobin can’t help but wonder if this is her way of keeping her here, even for just another moment.


	2. Bonjour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Bonjo--” Tobin stops, chuckling before correcting herself. “Sup, I’m Tobin.” With a nod, she stuffs her hand back into her pocket.

It’s 11:50 and she’s late but she didn’t call or text a goodbye so Kelley can’t be too worried.

 

She spots Kelley, flashing her ID against a box on the wall, smiling at her. “You know, when I suggested lunch I didn’t mean you had to grab some today.”

Tobin shrugs with a smile, about to answer when another voice joins in.

“Kel, you’re grabbing lunch?” It’s a whine and it makes Kelley laugh. The girl is leaning over the counter of the nurse’s station, her eyes a shade of blue Tobin isn’t used to seeing outside the waters of Southern France. It steals her breath. “Take me with you!” She says with a pout, falling back into the chair in front of her computer.

Kelley laughs, bouncing up to the counter. They chit chat long enough for Tobin to stuff her hands deep into the pockets of her jeans. She’s looking around before noticing Kelley gesturing her to come over with a nod.

“Alex, meet my friend Tobin.” Kelley’s beaming with pride as if to say, _Meet Tobin! Meet her because she is here in the flesh!_

She wasn’t expecting an introduction, so when her eyes meet Alex’s, the hand that’s coming out of a pocket stutters a bit before waving.

“Bonjo--” Tobin stops, chuckling before correcting herself. “Sup, I’m Tobin.” With a nod, she stuffs her hand back into her pocket.

“Well Tobin, you and Kelley enjoy your lunch. Please, don’t keep me and the fact that I’m stuck here for another hour, trouble either of you into bringing me something to eat.” Alex says it with a smile as Kelley just laughs, throwing her arm around Tobin's shoulders.

**  
**“You’ve only got an hour left, stop bitching."


	3. Next Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “She’s usually never this late.”
> 
> Tobin jumps a little, turning around to see Alex still fixed on charting--whatever that was.

Her eyes scan the directory for the fourth time, trying to find something to do while waiting for Kelley. It was almost noon but for once Kelley was the one running late. Tobin can hear Alex firing away at her usual spot in front of the computer and she considering striking up a conversation with her but decides against it. _She’s probably super busy charting._ Tobin reasons, and with a sigh she takes another glance down the hall to see if Kelley was there.

“She’s usually never this late.”

Tobin jumps a little, turning around to see Alex still fixed on charting--whatever that was.

“Uh, it’s no big deal.”

“Really?” The brunette asks, looking up from the computer monitor. “Is that why you’ve been looking down the hallway every second you’re not re-reading that directory?” She nods toward the floor directory on the wall before fixing her gaze back on Tobin. She’s got an eyebrow raised with a smirk on her lips and Tobin just shrugs.

“Okay, with all the stories I’ve heard from Kelley you can’t be this quiet.”

“What stories?” Tobin doesn't know if she should feel as worried as she currently is but memories of an 18 year old Tobin Heath and Kelley O'Hara resurface and suddenly she becomes all too conscious of what Alex might know about her and her past. 

“The story of the time you were so tired after one of our soccer tournaments you fell asleep on the toilet.” Alex and Tobin turn to Kelley, who’s clocking out. “Or the time you ran into the Christen going down the stairs and when you two fell on the ground and your hand landed right on her---”

“Dude!” Tobin’s gaping, hitting Kelley in the shoulder as Alex laughs, trying to get Kelley to finish the story. “She totally understood it was an accident." Her arms are crossed and she's doing her best to glare but she can't help but laugh at the memory. 

 

"Did she understand you had the biggest crush on her too?" 

 

"Whatever man.”

 

Kelley smirks before finally turning her attention to Alex, who was still trying to know what happened. "Alex, c’mon, take a lunch break!”

“I’m sorry Kel, maybe next time.” Her smile is apologetic and Tobin wishes she would come to lunch.

“Next time then.” Tobin’s smile is warm and reassuring when Alex exchanges glances between the two before finally caving.

“Next time.”

 


	4. Peanut Shells and Dirty Looks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “No way! Just look at her!” Tobin points over to Kelley who’s holding a fork in one hand, guarding her cards in the other.

“That’s bullshit!”

Tobin watches as Kelley dodges the peanut shells Alex is throwing. It’s their third time grabbing a drink since Alex joined their lunches. "This better be worth all the nagging", is what Alex said as she and Kelley clocked out. Tobin thinks it was, because they’d found a rhythm, two days out of their six day work weeks Tobin will greet them with an empty stomach.

“Tobin look at her hand! Tell me she’s cheating!” The brunette demands with a fire in her eyes.

“No way! Just look at her!” Tobin points over to Kelley who’s holding a fork in one hand, guarding her cards in the other. “You’re nuts!” Tobin eagerly exchanges looks between Alex, Kelley, and the thrown peanut shells.

They’re laughing so obnoxiously that even the bartender starts giving them dirty looks.

When Kelley leaves Tobin debates whether she should too.

“So, you know what I do,” Alex starts, cutting the silence they’d found themselves in. “what do you do?”

“I take pictures, for the most part.” Tobin sits back in her seat when she realizes Alex isn’t a one question type girl.

“Pictures for like a gallery?”

“Nah, more like magazines or anyone that’ll pay me.” She sighs, running a hand through her hair. The little pub they were in seems more empty now that its quiet, she feels as if everyone can hear what she’s saying.

Tobin sits up in her chair and is reaching for her drink when she sees Alex from across the small table. She looks like she’s about to ask something but instead does purses her lips together and drops it.

 **  
**“Enough about me, tell me about your life outside of charting.” Again, Alex is throwing peanut shells and whatever else she can reach, telling Tobin how she “totally does not do that much charting!”.


	5. MIA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Wait lemme call the police real quick,” Alex picks up the telephone next to her computer, “Let them know they can dismiss your missing persons case Kelley and I filed.”

She’s walking through the automatic doors when they make eye contact. Tobin swears she isn’t blushing.

“Wait lemme call the police real quick,” Alex picks up the telephone next to her computer, “Let them know they can dismiss your missing persons case Kelley and I filed.”

Tobin rolls her eyes at the girl, doing her best to ignore the butterflies in her stomach when she hears Alex laugh. “You must think you’re hilarious.” Tobin leans her elbows onto the counter of the nurse’s station. “I’ll let you know, I was actually working.”

“No fucking way!” There’s a hint of disbelief in her voice but Tobin’s heart swells at the excitement in Alex’s eyes. It takes her a second or two to compose herself again, but once she does she tells her about the gig she found a week ago.

“They want me to, like, “capture moments that depict the heart of the city” or whatever.” Alex is laughing when Tobin makes a quotation mark gesture and Tobin swells with pride. “So yeah, like, I go around the city or events and stuff and just take picture---”

Tobin’s about to pull out her phone to show Alex some pictures she took earlier in the week but something stops her. She can feel her pressing herself against her back and when the small arms wrap around her she knows she was sorely missed.

“Tobin Powell Heath!” Is all Kelley can say, her cheek pressed against one of Tobin’s shoulderblades. “Where have you been?!” There’s an urgency in her voice and it feels like a blow to the gut when Tobin realizes she should’ve gave Kelley a heads up.

She turns her gaze away from Alex and looks over her shoulder, peering back at Kelley who’s still holding on tight. Sighing, she tells Kelley about her job, watching as she lets go and freaks out enough for all three of them.

“Can we just grab some lunch? I’m starved.”

At the reminder of lunch, and the loud noise that came from Kelley’s stomach, the three head out. Alex is a step ahead when Tobin glances over at Kelley and pats her on the shoulder.

  
“No leaving without a goodbye."


	6. Spare Key

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gently taking Tobin’s feet off her lap, Alex gets up, “You gave me a spare, idiot.”

“Can you scooch?” Alex asks, nudging Tobin’s foot off the end of the couch. The girl only lets out a groan when she feels the contact, shoving her face back into the pillow Kelley gave her the night before.

“Fine.” Is all Tobin hears before her blanket is tugged away from her, unraveling her off the couch and onto the carpet. She’s moaning and groaning and whining and none of it is settling with Alex who stands over her, hands folded across her chest.

“Kelley said you were sick.”

Tobin lamely reaches of the blanket in Alex’s hand, crawling up from the carpet with every bit of energy she doesn’t have. Alex eyes her as she grabs a hold of the fabric and with a tug she tries to snatch it back. Tobin knows Alex’s eyebrow is quirked when she lets go of the fabric. She’s sweating and tired and god annoyed Alex is even hotter than normal Alex.

She’s resigning to the floor, curling up on her side, when she feels the brunette scoop her up.

“Wait..” Tobin looks around frantically, unsure of what just happened, “Where--”

“Kitchen.”

Obediently, Tobin puts her arms around Alex’s neck and lets herself be carried. Alex gives her a once over, taking note of the thin sheen of sweat across her forehead and how hot Tobin is. Actually hot, she’s burning up.

“Sit.” She says, setting Tobin down on counter.

The older girl watches as Alex runs a hand towel under the faucet, wondering why Kelley told her to take care of her.

There’s a silence that settles between them while Alex wipes down Tobin’s arms. It isn’t awkward but there’s tension in the air and they both can feel it.

“Are you mad? About the other day?”

Alex doesn’t even look at her when she answers, only moving to wiping Tobin’s neck.

“If I was bothering you and Kelley’s lunch thing, why did you just say so?”

Tobin knows she’s blushing but she figures she’s already red from the fever. She watches Alex, who’s hand is on her shoulder while the other is on the side of her neck.

“You didn’t even let me finish.” Tobin mutters, looking around the kitchen. “I said things are different now that you’re around, a good different.” She takes the chances and glances back at Alex. Shit.

Her heart skips a beat when she sees Alex’s features soften as she tries to hide her small smile. Their eyes meet when she looks up and Tobin swears she’s going to pass out.

Alex takes the hand towel and wipes Tobin’s face, laughing when the girl tries to move from the hot rag being mushed against her face.

Hours later, Tobin’s knock out on the couch, feet in Alex’s lap, when Kelley opens the door, surprised.

“Alex?”

The brunette puts her finger up to her lips, scowling at Kelley to be quiet. So she does, tiptoeing her way to the couch. Her eyes move from both girls and knowingly she hides her smirk and asks, “What’re you doing here? How the fuck did you get in?”

Gently taking Tobin’s feet off her lap, Alex gets up, “You gave me a spare, idiot.”

 


	7. Dates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There’s a step or two in between them but neither seem to be bothered by it.
> 
> They continue to chit chat for a few minutes and Tobin almost thinks they’re flirting. But when her buzzer goes off she remembers they’re both on dates.

Tobin knew better than to say yes to this blind date. Yet here she was, standing by the pick up counter waiting for her buzzer to sound.

“Tobin?”

“Alex?”

_Wow, she’s gorgeous._

__

“You look great,” Alex smiles at the compliment, but Tobin’s not done just yet. “to be dining by yourself.”

Tobin’s laughing as Alex glares at her.

“I’ll have you know, I’m waiting for someone.”

_Ouch._

Taking a step back, Tobin graciously nods with the best smile she can come up with.

 

It’s not that great.

“Ah, then I’ll leave you to wait for your someone.”

There’s this glint in Alex’s blue eyes and Tobin knows she’s seen straight through her. Alex hasn’t even said anything and Tobin’s already turning red.

“He’s not my anything.” Alex says. “But you’re my friend so you can stay.” Just as she says this, Alex reaches out and grabs Tobin by the forearm. Tobin takes a few steps forward. There’s a step or two in between them but neither seem to be bothered by it.

They continue to chit chat for a few minutes and Tobin almost thinks they’re flirting. But when her buzzer goes off she remembers they’re both on dates.

“Hungry much?” Alex asks when Tobin walks back with two plates.

“Oh ones mine and the others--”

Tobin looks back at her table to see it empty.

“Apparently MIA.”

Alex looks at her questioningly and all Tobin can do is laugh out of disbelief.

“My date bailed.”

Alex turns to look in the direction Tobin was looking at. Sure enough, they were staring at an empty table. Alex purses her lips together and looks around before turning to Tobin.

“No she didn’t.”

Looking over at Alex, Tobin furrows her eyebrows. “What?”

Looping her arm through Tobin’s, Alex grabs one of the plates.

  
“She’s right here.”

 

 

"You grabbed _my_ sandwich"

 

"Shut up, Tobin." 

 


	8. Waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Nah.”
> 
> “Why not?”
> 
> “I was waiting for someone.”

Alex takes a sip of her coffee, digesting everything Tobin just told her. Granted it was a lot to take in.

“So you left for France after all that?”

Tobin nods.

“I had nothing else to lose.”

Which was true. No soccer, no family, new ACL, everything changed for Tobin 6 years ago.

Silence filled the gaps words can't. Tobin knows there really isn’t much you could say, considering she herself still doesn’t know what to say about all of it.

“You didn’t know anyone there… How’d you, like, get around?” Alex leans forward onto the table, her fingers still wrapped around the warm cup.

 

Tobin waits till the barista is done yelling before answering.

She tells Alex about Lindsey and Laure. Leaning across the table, Tobin pulls out her phone. She shows Alex pictures of her time in France, smiling at the memories of everything it did for her.

“So that ones…” Alex is pointing to the girl with her hand on Tobin’s hip.

“Laure.”

Nodding, Alex takes another sip of her coffee. Just as her lips are about to meet the cup she asks, “So was she your girlfriend or something?”

Tobin can’t even hide her smile. Frankly, she wouldn’t even if she could.

Looking at Alex, Tobin answers with a laugh.

“Nah.”

“Why not?”

“I was waiting for someone.”

“Who?”

“ _The one_.”

As cheesy as it sounds, it’s true.

“Find ‘em yet?”

It’s the boldest Tobin’s ever been with Alex. She beams with pride as she says it.

“I hope so.”

Alex opens her mouth to say something but she can’t. Not with the smile taking over her features. She lets out a soft laugh before looking up from her coffee. Her eyes meet Tobin’s and Tobin swears nothing’s meant to feel _this_ perfect.

  
“Me too.”


	9. Nothing to Lose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her hands are trembling at the thought of losing everything all over again.

If Tobin’s learned anything in life it’s that nothing lasts forever. It’s a shame she forgot.

She feels gutted when Kelley tells her that the hospital is transferring her. They were at dinner. It was casual. “I don’t know where they’re sending me yet.” She says with a mouth full of sesame chicken. “They just said I should be transferring in a week.”

That was four days ago.

The hollowness in her stomach hadn’t even had the chance to be filled when the next blow came.

_“Hey Tobs, it’s Laure. Mr. Babineaux wants to know if you’d like to be the assistant coach of his new team. Division 1 French League! It’s a huge step from what we were doing before! Let me know as soon as you can! I hope to see you soon!_

__

_XX, Laure.”_

The email came a few weeks ago. Laure has since sent a follow-up email. She told her that she only has five days left to accept the offer.

It’s all so overwhelming that Tobin feels nauseous.

She has to tell Alex.

But it doesn’t go over well.

“You’re going aren’t you?” Alex asks after all the yelling has died down. It breaks Tobin when Alex doesn’t even look at her.

They’re both red faced and Tobin swears she can see tears rim Alex’s eyes.

Tobin tells Alex how she doesn’t know what she should do. Her hands are trembling at the thought of losing everything all over again. But Kelley’s leaving and Alex.. Well she’s---

“I got a notified by my agency.” Alex turns to Tobin amidst the silence. “My 8 months in Brooklyn are over.”

Tobin wonders if this is what it feels like to suffocate.

Apparently Alex is a travel nurse; They don’t stay anywhere for too long. It’s a part of the job. A part Tobin wished she’d known long before this moment.

“I’m being sent to Portland.”

Words aren’t even an option right now. Tobin’s mind is racing as fast as her heart and the lump in her throat makes breathing difficult. So they sit in silence. And it’s too much for Alex.

“Whatever Tobin.” Alex abruptly gets up, knocking her chair over. She doesn’t even look at Tobin when the first tear falls.

“Where are you going?”

Tobin’s hasn’t been this scared for years. So it’s no surprise to her how panicked and desperate her voice sounds.

“Leaving. This way you can go to France all over again.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for enjoying the story and keeping up with it. I am sad to say that this is it, the end of Flashes of a Bigger Picture. 
> 
> Thank you again for all the love and support. Until next time, keep smiling friends.


	10. Glimpses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There were a lot of things Tobin’s lost in her life but maybe those were just glimpses. Flashes of white light that made something so much bigger than herself; flashes of a bigger picture.

“Tobin I don’t have time for this.” Alex says curtly, interrupting Tobin panicked rambling. “I’m working.”

The girl doesn’t even look at Tobin whens he dismisses her, just keeps her eyes focused on her computer.

Growing frustrated, Tobin scoffs. “Well I do, Alex! I have all the time in the world for this because I’m not leaving.” She seems to catch the girl’s attention but not enough of it for her to look away from that stupid machine. “I promised Kelley I wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye and I’m not doing that. I’m here because this?” Tobin gestures to the spot she’s found herself in every week. “Us? I’m not willing to give any of it up.”

Finally, Alex looks at her. Eyeing her to see if any of it was a trick, Alex gets up from her chair. Tobin presses on, pleading for Alex to believe her.

“I have everything to lose if I went France.”

There’s a flash of _something_ that moves through Alex’s eyes but Tobin doesn’t even have a chance to process it before Alex is leaning against the counter between them. She presses their lips together and Tobin swears her heart stops.

They’re drowning in the urgency and need of the kiss but it all melts into relief when Alex pulls back.

“Us, huh?”

“I, uh, figure it wouldn’t be the best idea to ditch my girlfriend.”

Alex bites her lip, her eyes narrowing at Tobin and at this close proximity it makes the brown eyed girl’s knees weak.

“Girlfriend?”

“Only if you want to be.”

“Girlfriend.” Alex breathes, grabbing a fist into Tobin’s shirt collar and pulling the girl in for another kiss.

“I’m pretty sure that’s against like three different policies.”

Tobin turns in a heartbeat, barely catching the way Alex gasps as she looks up from their kiss.

“Kelley?!” Tobin exclaims as the freckled girl runs up to her with a hug.

Kelley did get transferred, to a new unit. The hospital had moved her to the new level that was built a couple months ago. And as for Alex, well she apparently extended her stint in Brooklyn because travel nurses can do that, who would’ve thought.

Tobin watches as Alex and Kelley clock out. Her heart soars when Kelley goes on and on about this new spot she wants to try out, and when Alex’s hand finds it’s place in her own. With a side glance Tobin looks over at Alex and smiles, intertwining their fingers together.

 **  
**There were a lot of things Tobin’s lost in her life but maybe those were just glimpses. Flashes of white light that made something so much bigger than herself. Flashes of a bigger picture.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that's it folks. Thanks for keeping up with this lil ol' story. Since this was the legit last update I decided to make it longer than normal and I'm pretty pleased with how it turned out. Being entirely honest, this story didn't turn out the way I had originally planned but that's alright. I like the way it turned out a lot more than what it started out to be. 
> 
> Thanks for everything guys - xx


End file.
